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Joke Home > Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Q: what is foreplay for a blonde?
A: thirty minutes of begging.

Q: what is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: data transfer.

Q: what is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: one that never misses a period.

Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: what is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: she can't say "no".

Q: what is the blonde's favorite battery?
A: ever-ready.

Q: what is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: they both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: what is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: a deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: what is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: not everyone has been in a 747

Q: what is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: a toilet won't follow you around after you use it.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: you can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: you can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: there is no difference. They're both round and have Three holes to poke.
A4: you don't eat your bowling ball

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute?
A: prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: a shower has to be turned on to get wet.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: about 2 cans of hair spray

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and the grand old duke of York?
A: the grand old duke of york only 'had' 10000 men.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: they know how many men went down on The Titanic.

Q: what is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde?
A: he is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.

Q: what is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: vaseline and poli-grip.

Q: what is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: what is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: some traffic signs say stop.

Q: what is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: butter is difficult to spread.

Q: what is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: what is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
A: you can also sit upright in a car.

Q: what is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A: the blonde!
A2: the other guys waiting their turn.

Q: what is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: what is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: bucket seats.

Q: what job function does a blonde have in an m&m factory?
A: proofreading.

Q: what nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A: b.j.

Q: what two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: her feet!

Q: what was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
A: an in-body experience!

Q: what was the blonde surgeon's claim to fame?
A: the world's first hemorrhoid transplant.

Q: what will she ask you?
A: "is it mine?"

Q: what's 5 miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: a blonde parade.

Q: what's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: humpme dumpme.

Q: what's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: locking the car door.

Q: what's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Bupply.

Q: whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A: a blond electrician

Q: what's brown and red and black and blue?
A: a brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Q: what's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: a hundred dollar bill.

Q: what's the blonde's cheer?
A: " i'm blonde, i'm blonde, i'm b.l.o.n....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, i'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: what's the definition of a metallurgist?
A: a man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore.

Q: whats the differance between a fridge and a fanny?
A: a fridge dosn't fart when you take the meat out.

Q: what's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone?
A: ice cream cones don't lick back.

Q: what's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: you can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a blonde bitch?
A: a blonde will fuck anyone, a blonde bitch will fuck anyone but you.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: when you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: you only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: the blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
A: the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

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