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Joke Home > Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: not everybody has been in a limo.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A: you need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: only one person can use the phone at once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: in the morning a rooster says, "cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: the shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley.
A: a supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: you don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: you take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: one has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: it's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and president gorbachev?
A: he knows who the ten men were.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and the panama canal?
A: the panama canal is a busy ditch.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: what's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: a magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Q: what's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: one's a phony buck.

Q: what's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a schwinn at the side of the road?
A: one's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .

Q: what's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: lipstick.

Q: what's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, And a blonde?
A: the prostitute says "aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says "are you done already?"
The blonde says "beige...i think i'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: what's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a Blonde track team?
A: the pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

Q: what's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating jell-o?
A: jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

Q: what's the difference between indiana and a blonde?
A: a blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

Q: what's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: marriage.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: opens the car door.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: introduces themself.
A2: walks home.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "thanks, guys..."

Q: what's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: what's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "all the blondes have gone home!"
A2: has that blonde gone yet?
A3: when is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: what's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "next!"

Q: what's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: pick them up off the floor

Q: what's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde?
A: when her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector.

Q: where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: the vegetable garden.

Q: who makes a blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: free-to-lay.

Q: why are blonde's coffins y-shaped?
A: because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Q: why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: why are blondes like pianos?
A: when they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: who cares?

Q: why are blondes so sexually promiscuous?
A: who cares

Q: why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: so brunettes can remember them.
A2: because blondes are so shallow a long joke wouldn't fit.

Q: why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: the rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: cause she blows the horn!!!!!

Q: why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: peroxide.

Q: why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Q: why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: they can't keep their calves together!

Q: why can't blondes count to 70?
A: because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: they always forget the recipe.

Q: why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: they keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: why can't blondes water-ski?
A: when they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Q: why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven ?
A: she didn't know what one came first...

Q: why did god create blondes?
A: because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: why did god create brunettes?
A: neither could the blondes.

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