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Joke Home > Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Q: why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: why did she finally pass her test?
A: she took the examiner with her

Q: why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
A: it said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q: why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: she wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: she heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: why did the blonde cross the road?
A: never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?
A2: i don't know.
A:3 neither did she.

Q: why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: to turn the blinker off.

Q: why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: why did the blonde fail her drivers license test?
A: she wasn't used to the front seat!

Q: why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: her employer found out she was embezzling.

Q: why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: because on the box it said from 2-4 years.

Q: why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
A: she wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

Q: why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: the balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

Q: why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: from trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: from crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

Q: why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: in case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: so she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: the noise gave her a headache.

Q: why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: to see what was on the other side.

Q: why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: to see what was on the other side.

Q: why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: she realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: why did the blonde snort nutra-sweet?
A: she thought it was diet coke.

Q: why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: because it kept falling out.

Q: why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A: she wanted to go on a round trip.

Q: why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: so her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: so she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: she saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porsche.

Q: why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: because she loved children.

Q: why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: so she wouldn't get hearing aides.

Q: why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with crest?
A: she heard that it reduces cavities.

Q: why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: so she could lip read.

Q: why did they call the blond twinkie?
A: she liked to be filled with cream.

Q: why did they stop doing the "wave" at BYU?
A: too many blondes were drowning.

Q: why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: she'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a Flat forehead?
A: finger on chin-i don't know. Hits forehead-oh i get it!

Q: why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *who cares?*

Q: why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: practice.

Q: why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: because they can spell it.

Q: why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: more leg room.

Q: why do blondes drive VW's
A: because they can't spell Porsche!!

Q: why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!

Q: why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: because you don't have to marry them for sex!

Q: why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: they have to pull their own pants down.

Q: why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: why do blondes hate m&ms?
A: they're too hard to peel.

Q: why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: from dating blonde men.

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