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Joke Home > Pickup Lines

Cheesy Pickup Lines

These lines have been sorted alpabetically.  There are no guarantees that any of these can help you. 

Add Your Pickup Line | Submitted Pickup Lines
  1. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
  2. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  3. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
  4. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
  5. Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
  6. I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
  7. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
  8. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
  9. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
  10. Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
  11. Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
  12. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
  13. Hi, how are you?
  14. Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
  15. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  16. I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
  17. You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
  18. Hi!
  19. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
  20. Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
  21. That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
  22. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile.  So, would you smile for me?
  23. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
  24. Overheard in our computer lab:  Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.
  25. Hi there!  Do you want to see something really swell?
  26. Hi, my name's Dan. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!
  27. Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, "Let's you and me get out of these wet clothes."
  28. I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
  29. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
  30. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
  31. Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
  32. Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
  33. Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
  34. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
  35. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  36. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
  37. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  38. Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer?  Do you want to die happy?
  39. Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body?  {Wait for answer} "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"
  40. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
  41. Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  42. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
  43. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
  44. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
  45. I'm new in town.  Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  46. Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
  47. Hi. You'll do.
  48. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
  49. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.
  50. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some?  (if yes…) Want some more?
  51. Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
  52. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  53. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  54. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  55. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
  56. Are my undies showing? ["No."]  "Would you like them to?"
  57. Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  58. I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
  59. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
  60. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
  61. At the Laundromat, "How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?"
  62. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
  63. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
  64. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  65. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  66. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
  67. Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
  68. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
  69. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
  70. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  71. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
  72. Does your boyfriend know where you are?
  73. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah!   Do you have the  energy?"
  74. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
  75. I had sex with someone last night.  Was that you?
  76. I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
  77. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?]  Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
  78. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
  79. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
  80. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
  81. May I flirt with you?
  82. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
  83. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
  84. Hi, I'm a fashion photographer.  Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
  85. How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
  86. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  87. I was just curious?  Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
  88. You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
  89. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (after she slaps you or leaves)  HEY!  What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
  90. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
  91. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  92. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?  My Zipper
  93. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  94. What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
  95. Say, did we go to different schools together?
  96. As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
  97. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  98. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  99. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Add Your Pickup Line | Submitted Pickup Lines

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