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Joke Home > Pickup Lines

Cheesy Pickup Lines

These lines have been sorted alpabetically.  There are no guarantees that any of these can help you. 


Add Your Pickup Line | Submitted Pickup Lines
  1. Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
  2. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
  3. Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  4. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
  5. Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
  6. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
  7. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
  8. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  9. Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body?  {Wait for answer} "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"
  10. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
  11. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (after she slaps you or leaves)  HEY!  What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
  12. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
  13. Hi. You'll do.
  14. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
  15. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
  16. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
  17. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some?  (if yes…) Want some more?
  18. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah!   Do you have the  energy?"
  19. At the Laundromat, "How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?"
  20. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
  21. I was just curious?  Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
  22. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
  23. Say, did we go to different schools together?
  24. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  25. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
  26. Hi!
  27. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  28. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  29. Hi, how are you?
  30. I'm new in town.  Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  31. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
  32. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  33. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
  34. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  35. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
  36. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile.  So, would you smile for me?
  37. I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
  38. May I flirt with you?
  39. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
  40. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  41. Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  42. Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
  43. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
  44. Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
  45. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.
  46. Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
  47. Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
  48. I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
  49. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
  50. You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
  51. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  52. I had sex with someone last night.  Was that you?
  53. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
  54. That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
  55. Are my undies showing? ["No."]  "Would you like them to?"
  56. Hi, my name's Dan. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!
  57. Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, "Let's you and me get out of these wet clothes."
  58. Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
  59. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
  60. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
  61. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
  62. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  63. Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
  64. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  65. What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
  66. Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
  67. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  68. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
  69. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?]  Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
  70. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
  71. I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
  72. As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
  73. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  74. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
  75. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
  76. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
  77. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
  78. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
  79. I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
  80. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
  81. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
  82. I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
  83. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
  84. Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
  85. Hi there!  Do you want to see something really swell?
  86. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  87. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
  88. Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer?  Do you want to die happy?
  89. How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
  90. You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
  91. Does your boyfriend know where you are?
  92. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
  93. Overheard in our computer lab:  Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.
  94. Hi, I'm a fashion photographer.  Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
  95. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  96. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?  My Zipper
  97. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
  98. Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
  99. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

Add Your Pickup Line | Submitted Pickup Lines

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